yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize