ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
