After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this just has baby written all over it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
