His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
