How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
