you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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