I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
