Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
