...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
