Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
