I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize