I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.