Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
