I'm an idiot
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dating After Heartbreak
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".