He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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