i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I love you. Go after that dick
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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