omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
