this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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