Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
