pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
