He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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