What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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