margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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