apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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