He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
