I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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