Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize