She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
