Kiss
Puke
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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