Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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