We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The air taste purple.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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