I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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