i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize