Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They took my balls.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
