WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
