Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
