she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.