Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You just missed an honest to god bukkake