I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.