Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  barbara walters just said penis...

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  (650): barbara walters just said penis... http://tfl.nu/ninz
  Replies (10) Good night (2875) Bad night (954)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

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  (419): His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him. http://tfl.nu/wimg
  Replies (60) Good night (1202) Bad night (3421)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

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  (423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom http://tfl.nu/66s8
  Replies (32) Good night (1749) Bad night (4888)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

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  (740): Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night http://tfl.nu/r09y
  Replies (9) Good night (5075) Bad night (1378)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

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  (208): I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age. http://tfl.nu/hp0x
  Replies (28) Good night (5969) Bad night (1100)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (15459) Bad night (1554)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard

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  (612): Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard http://tfl.nu/lrld
  Replies (9) Good night (1674) Bad night (3208)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.

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  (734): Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books. http://tfl.nu/5hjw
  Replies (17) Good night (4349) Bad night (863)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow

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  (479): everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers (1-479): trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow http://tfl.nu/b3n0
  Replies (9) Good night (1785) Bad night (848)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

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  (541): I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason http://tfl.nu/z5wn
  Replies (26) Good night (770) Bad night (1846)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.

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  (289): This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break. http://tfl.nu/v46r
  Replies (4) Good night (961) Bad night (535)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood

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  (406): i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood http://tfl.nu/i7ix
  Replies (3) Good night (967) Bad night (406)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?

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  (585): Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning? http://tfl.nu/f296
  Replies (4) Good night (930) Bad night (390)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging

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  (212): Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging http://tfl.nu/88q4
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (337)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.

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  (773): I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful. http://tfl.nu/5jgt
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (271)

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