Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.

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  (803): Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C. http://tfl.nu/tif7
  Replies (18) Good night (3666) Bad night (1250)
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  (858): View more from California

  There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.

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  (858): There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate. http://tfl.nu/dn5m
  Replies (24) Good night (7667) Bad night (1095)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?

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  (315): i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now? http://tfl.nu/2nou
  Replies (16) Good night (4016) Bad night (1262)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.

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  (814): shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step. http://tfl.nu/6g1i
  Replies (16) Good night (6570) Bad night (1096)
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  (845): View more from New York

  the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later

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  (845): the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later http://tfl.nu/1207
  Replies (4) Good night (3655) Bad night (1439)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.

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  (845): i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over. http://tfl.nu/5sx1
  Replies (1) Good night (4904) Bad night (894)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life

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  (412): Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life http://tfl.nu/5boh
  Replies (6) Good night (2971) Bad night (1560)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....

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  (267): I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa.... http://tfl.nu/2i55
  Replies (6) Good night (2553) Bad night (709)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.

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  (617): No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack. http://tfl.nu/ritq
  Replies (6) Good night (1026) Bad night (1248)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?

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  (304): She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life? http://tfl.nu/58z3
  Replies (12) Good night (2293) Bad night (568)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Another day, another engagement, another cat

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  (412): Another day, another engagement, another cat http://tfl.nu/m5x7
  Replies (1) Good night (1108) Bad night (605)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?

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  (352): But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door? http://tfl.nu/ozrv
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (454)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen

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  (306): well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen http://tfl.nu/nqpt
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (496)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool

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  (775): I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool http://tfl.nu/kxpo
  Replies (1) Good night (1042) Bad night (222)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.

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  (307): Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away. http://tfl.nu/p927
  Replies (4) Good night (336) Bad night (593)

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