Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.

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  (416): If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay. http://tfl.nu/09z9
  Replies (10) Good night (2078) Bad night (917)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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  (401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw
  Replies (20) Good night (4350) Bad night (1120)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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  (816): So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant... (1-816): Yeeah thank god (816): Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million. http://tfl.nu/pevw
  Replies (54) Good night (2068) Bad night (15483)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.

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  (+44): When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/m7vb
  Replies (16) Good night (4189) Bad night (1076)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Drunk. I slept-stripped.

  (914): View more from New York

  By myself.

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  (914): Drunk. I slept-stripped. (914): By myself. http://tfl.nu/r1zm
  Replies (4) Good night (2285) Bad night (870)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"

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  (586): Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate" http://tfl.nu/hjnw
  Replies (6) Good night (1050) Bad night (3519)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja

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  (512): we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja http://tfl.nu/0h0h
  Replies (9) Good night (5124) Bad night (803)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.

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  (832): you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/gkpj
  Replies (7) Good night (898) Bad night (2640)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.

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  (403): I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress. http://tfl.nu/setw
  Replies (2) Good night (1376) Bad night (567)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed

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  (540): my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed http://tfl.nu/1r9l
  Replies (25) Good night (1774) Bad night (849)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.

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  (928): No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals. http://tfl.nu/o042
  Replies (4) Good night (656) Bad night (515)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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  (847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz
  Replies (10) Good night (3930) Bad night (612)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  all of the above

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  (303): so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after??? (1-303): all of the above http://tfl.nu/yvgg
  Replies (2) Good night (1387) Bad night (321)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?

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  (509): You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you? http://tfl.nu/3xdc
  Replies (8) Good night (346) Bad night (1101)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?

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  (206): If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on? http://tfl.nu/dsww
  Replies (1) Good night (227) Bad night (407)

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