So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
