Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
