am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
