What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
