So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
