I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
