they need to just BURY HIM!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
