i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
