maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
