I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
