3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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