we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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