i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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