I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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