i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
