I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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