Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
