So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
