That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
