just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize