it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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