just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
