ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
