who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
