Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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