I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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