So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
